Obsolete Review: Evilspeak

I command you, Prince of Evil, heed my call!

There's something necessary about Clint Howard. He brings balance to the universe, the yin to his brother Ron's yang. Ron Howard is the All-American hero of Mayberry RFD and Milwaukee; Clint Howard is the lonely alien-child of the First Federation. Ron directs THE DA VINCI CODE; Clint stars in EVILSPEAK.

Stanley Coopersmith (Howard, the Clint variety) is the butt of every joke at his military academy. He's a nerd, an awkward mope who's into computers more than football -- everything short of wearing glasses and snorting like Anthony Edwards. This is not a great feat of casting, per se, but it sets up some demonic action for later.

While cleaning the church basement, Stanley stumbles upon the books of one Father Esteban (Richard Moll, aka Bull from NIGHT COURT, introduced in a forgettable flashback). Esteban was banished from Spain for being a Satanist, or something, and has this text that Stanley inputs into his computer, which of course turns the machine into a demonic HAL 9000, unleashing Esteban's evil wrath on the world -- complete with 8-bit pentagrams. It's all a perfect possession setup for Stanley to Ctrl-Alt-Del the school.

EVILSPEAK gained notoriety as one of the "video nasties" banned in the UK in the '80s, but there are certainly nastier. Then again, that could be said about most Satanic Panic overreactions. Really, the nastiest thing on display here is the overuse of pigs (boars?) as agents of the Underworld.

Did I get your attention there? Yes, pigs. Killer pigs. Put that in your Commodore 64 and tweet it.

 Lenny montana in evilspeak (1981)

Obsolete bonus: Luca Brasi plays the school cook. One can only assume he sleeps with the dishes.